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Guess Who's Back? Back Again?
Jae is back, back again!
It has been a loooooooong time, deviantART!
I hope I can get back in the swing of things.
My life has been super busy after high school, with getting a job, going to community college, and everything. I even got a new boyfriend who rides a motorcycle (yeah that was the main reason I dated him but he was also a cool guy and when the relationship ended we both walked away from it as just friends). Now I am single again and I have a lot more time on my hands!
Lovin' the single life! ;D
I've been lurkin' and browsin' the forums here again for the past week and it just occurred to me that my last journal was from year
I Like Sewing.
It's fun.
Right now I'm trying to plan out how to make this corset-like top thing. The last time I made something similar, I got the breast area a bit odd. I want it to be perfect, and I don't want to waste fabric, but panicking over it is keeping me from actually doing it.
I should just say "screw it!" and do it anyway.
I'm almost done with this removable hood for a jacket, though. I'll post it once I've finished. :D
My Chest Won't Stop Pounding.
It happens every time I think about him. And I don't know if he's over me or not, he won't say.
Oh God, I still love him so much. And I totally understand why he left me. It's because I was cold. I was spiteful. I was wrapped up in what a failure I was and there was nothing positive about me. I forgot my principals. I forgot what made me who I was. He says he feels our relationship died slowly.
Looking back I can see it all, and I want to change, not just to see if maybe he will take me back, but for myself.
I feel nervous and restless and rushed.
His schedule is all booked up, all the time too. He spends 4 nights a week doing Dagorhir an
Writing Makes Everything Awesome.
So I'm finally getting more serious about writing my novel . . . still in the ideas phase, but at least I have the main tone/execution style/messages planned out. Aside from that I have a very basic plot and a few character sketches (metaphorically speaking), but no real series of events yet (am I doing this in weird order?).
I went to the library today and picked up 2 books on the Civil War (the novel is historical fiction). I need to do some research on the culture of the time if I'm not going to look like a dumb ass when I write it. I picked up Mary Chestnut's Civil War and The Civil War Notebook of Daniel Chisholm. The first is a journal
© 2009 - 2024 Jae-Zraela
Comments1
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This story sounds freakishly familiar to me.
My first boyfriend seemed like one of the most honorable, selfless, and moral people you could know. He boasted about his honesty, how he'd never tell a lie. And how he was a pacifist, who'd never want to hurt anyone. He dazzled me with stories about his 12 "near death" experiences.
Well eventually, he revealed he was in love with his "best friend." (A girl who said she wanted to be with him, then changed her mind a day or two later when she met a guy who she "had more in common with.") After a while I grew tired of being his concubine while he loved another girl, and we broke up, but remained "friends" (because I was a moron who still thought highly of him). What'd he do next? He dropped out of college, because it "destroyed him emotionally" that she didn't want him. Then a year or two later he told me he was a closeted transsexual the whole time and was getting a sex change. (Seriously.)
So, Mr. Never Lies lied to me at least about two things ("loving" me, and his gender identity).
I take full responsibility for being a moron, who dated a guy that I should have seen was only using me as a rebound. And for not picking up on the fact that a lot of his "near death" stories were really just incidental things that would only lead to death if it had been a freak accident (like getting shot in the foot with a BB-gun, or passing out from hypothermia).
I hope you're friendship works out better than mine. I'm not trying to talk you out of being friends with the guy...I just figured misery loves company, right?
Anyway, good luck.
My first boyfriend seemed like one of the most honorable, selfless, and moral people you could know. He boasted about his honesty, how he'd never tell a lie. And how he was a pacifist, who'd never want to hurt anyone. He dazzled me with stories about his 12 "near death" experiences.
Well eventually, he revealed he was in love with his "best friend." (A girl who said she wanted to be with him, then changed her mind a day or two later when she met a guy who she "had more in common with.") After a while I grew tired of being his concubine while he loved another girl, and we broke up, but remained "friends" (because I was a moron who still thought highly of him). What'd he do next? He dropped out of college, because it "destroyed him emotionally" that she didn't want him. Then a year or two later he told me he was a closeted transsexual the whole time and was getting a sex change. (Seriously.)
So, Mr. Never Lies lied to me at least about two things ("loving" me, and his gender identity).
I take full responsibility for being a moron, who dated a guy that I should have seen was only using me as a rebound. And for not picking up on the fact that a lot of his "near death" stories were really just incidental things that would only lead to death if it had been a freak accident (like getting shot in the foot with a BB-gun, or passing out from hypothermia).
I hope you're friendship works out better than mine. I'm not trying to talk you out of being friends with the guy...I just figured misery loves company, right?
Anyway, good luck.